We live in a fast-paced world and the fastest communicating world ever lived in. You may have experienced or been told about how when you get to a place like New York City it is extremely fast-paced and never stops. Then most all of us living in a rural area or the south, know there is inherently this slower pace. We aren’t living in a cement jungle where streets and sidewalks are crowded with people moving in a determined if not rude direction in a hurry to get somewhere. And along with the differences in paces, we often hear about two things that go along with each pace. One pace tends to be more unfriendly and as mentioned even rude, and the other pace tends to be very friendly and kind.
These are simple aspects of which are usually just secondary effects of an environmental characteristic. And if you think about it, anything with speed tends to produce an unfriendly, maybe angry, more intense, limbic feeling, such as a Nascar engine and the extreme noise of intensity it produces at elevated RPM’s, or someone running down an airport terminal, vs an idle quiet even shut off ecotype engine or the person ahead of time walking peacefully to the next gate. Speed often dictates the level of kindness or friendliness. The more intense the situation, the increased sense of urgency, or the pace of the matter often leads to less kindness coming from those involved or the person at the center of the urgency.
The same goes for our fastest pace communication methods we all have at our fingertips of any society ever. Texting. Or email. For me, I may send a text between phone calls, or between examining animals, between seeing different patients, or even between texts, and we are short on time, and we hammer out the text without regard to the level of courtesy or kindness and an illiteracy for tone. Something like, “Jill I need you to print this email.” Or Sara, you need to send this tissue into the lab.” Or “Ty call Joe back.” Now, at first glance, your personality type often dictates if you think there is any kindness needed or not. Many types think it’s quick and no need to put in any fluff or fruits and rainbow words. While other types may require more fluffy words and fruits and rainbows. The fluff I am referring to are simple words like, please, thank you, could you please, would you please, is there any chance I could get…, sorry to bother you but…, how can I help you…, etc. Oh, and did I say, please, and thank you. Oh, and did I say please, and thank you. Oh, and please, and thank you..?
The key to any successfully typed kind and courteous text or email is for you to set back and read the communication back to yourself as if you were to receive it. We often hit “send” and in our busy mind and world, just hammer out the communication with total disregard of how the receiver will read it out loud in their mind. While an intelligent type may say, it’s alright, we have work to do, don’t overthink it, who cares if they are butthurt. But the simple fact is, regardless of personality type, if someone is asking us to do anything at all, a much friendlier tone or even overly kind communication gives us a subconscious feeling of an improved attitude to help, vs the “I need you to do this” communication that fires up an unconscious feeling of a more negative attitude towards executing what is being asked of us.
Regardless of personality type, no one likes to be told to do something with no regard for courtesy, or little thought put into the other person’s time availability or very little empathy of the receiver’s current point in time situation or activity. Even if you are the customer making a demand, the service provider is due our respect. Even if you are the “boss”, the employee deserves your respect for them and their time. Even if they are your kid, your kid deserves our kindness. You see, kindness generates greater connectivity. Kindness generates more trust Kindness generates deeper respect. Kindness generates more customers, more relationships, an improved response from the service provider, and compliance of needed execution from team members. Kindness is the new currency that is most often lost in a fast-paced world. Kind and courteous words seem so elementary to some, or even not needed by others, but just take a minute right now to reread your last 10 texts. Reread them from the receiver’s point of view. Would you type them differently for a more favorable response? If you have been overly kind and courteous, you are a Rockstar texter. If yours aren’t overly kind and courteous, you have some work to do. Remember, the response you desire is often dictated by your level of courtesy and kindness. Your texts or emails are a giant tectonic force, good or bad!