I routinely talk about the importance of who we surround ourselves with given that we become an average of the 7 people we spend the most time with. Over time, we become what we consume. Over time we become what we focus on. If you focus on nothing, you will become nothing, if you focus on great things, you will become great. If you consume (watch on tv) “The Kardashians” you will become the Kardashians. If you consume motivational readings, you will become motivated.
But, beyond those things, if you are married or have a significant other, there is likely no one else you spend more time with, listen to, consume, or see more of than your spouse or significant other. Recently, Warren Buffet was interviewed about the success he has enjoyed in life and he credited “two turning points” in life. “One when I came out of the womb and one when I met Susie,” Buffet says of his first wife who died in 2004. “What happened with me would not have happened without her.” He later said, “You want to associate with people who are the kind of person you’d like to be. You’ll move in that direction,” he said. “And the most important person by far in that respect is your spouse. I can’t overemphasize how important that is.” As quoted at the 2009 Berkshire Hathaway annual meeting, “Marry the right person. I’m serious about that. It will make more difference in your life. It will change your aspirations, all kinds of things.”
Warren Buffett says the most important decision you will ever make has nothing to do with your money or career, but it is all about picking who your spouse will be. This is because a good partner sets a good example, and also makes it possible for you to be a better you. A conscientious partner creates power, and together you are better with each other, for each other, for your family, and for those around you each day. You provide stability, discipline, trust in the future, a safe place, love at home for your family so one doesn’t look for it in the wrong places, and a confidence of “you can do it”. Together you are more focused and more organized, and a high achieving partner will challenge some inherent laziness we can have. Great things, habits, and thoughts will rub off on the other, and those around you each day.
Who else do you spend more time with than your spouse or significant other? Picking a partner doesn’t mean you can’t have a fun partner and have a rigid disciplined lackluster marriage, but we do know the go-getter partner will rub off and make you better. And it’s not about changing your partner, but it’s about how can you help them? How can you help them fulfill their needs? Marrying the right person will have the largest impact on your life more than your parents, mentors, or friends. The wrong one can be devastating, and the right one will make you the best version of you possible!